This being Halloween, what could be more appropriate than this delightful product?
The teeth are soft, the gums pliable, both deliriously sweet with a little lemony zing: wonderful. It's lovely how they melt into little gelatinous bits in your mouth, how your saliva transforms into a sugary sauce.
You could really go crazy on this stuff, and if I hadn't had the privilege of a repressive Scottish education I would surely have devoured the entire pack in one giant scoff and gone back for all the rest in the shop.
The appearance is not charming though is it? Be honest. It's foul. There is something very nasty about detached body parts, even when obviously manufactured. And this is the case no less when they are eaten than when they are used for other functions (yes dildo manufacturers, I am indeed looking at you).
And why "vampires"? The canines are hardly developed. I suppose the cannibalistic aspect of vampirism is present in the idea that you are consuming another's flesh but you wouldn't, no matter how hungry or devoutedly Transylvanian eat another's teeth, even those of the fairest peasant virgin in the village. I hope not, at least. And you wouldn't eat those of another vampire...or would you?
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